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Kaiji
*Incredibly annoying and incessant crying* -Kaiji Kaiji is a loser and a fucking dumbass. Appearance His chin is the chin that will pierce the heavens. Background He's a dick that slashes tires because no one loved him when he was a child. He doesn't work because he's a lazy illegal immigrant that gambles away his welfare checks. Season 1 Kaiji cosigns a friend's loan but then he dies so Kaiji has to play a stupid card game on a Yacht to save his ass. He gets swindled by a guy because he's a fucking dumbass so he partners with some other loser and his friend who was supposed to be dead so he doesn't get sold to the slave market. He loses because he was a nice guy that got cucked by his friends. He saves his ass by stealing some faggy old fart's jewels and using them to buy his freedom. But because he's such a nice guy and a complete dumbass he instead uses his money to save some other old fart that he's gay for, even though he dies later anyway. He leaves with a shit load of debt and gets a job that doesn't pay shit, so he's forced into another gambling game. This time he's gotta walk across a steel beam or otherwise fall 20 feet and break his legs. What the fuck this has to do with gambling I have no fucking clue. He has a chance to push the guy in front of him and win, but again he's a fucking idiot that doesn't do it because he's an enormous beta cuck that lets everyone walk all over him. But it doesn't matter anyway because everyone gets pranked and now they have to walk across 25-or-something-storey buildings on beams to get their money. Spoilers: Everyone fucking dies except Kaiji who gets punked again because he cried and pussied out half-way through the game. So now Kaiji has to play the president Hyodo's 'SAW'-as-fuck game "E-Card" where he either wins or a drill pierces his eardrum. He proceeds to actually cut off his entire left ear to win against Tonegawa and as punishment Hyodo makes him burn off his forehead. Kaiji gets mad because of this and because he's a fucking moron he decides it's a good idea to challenge the president to a lottery game. Unfortunately, Kaiji is a fucking unobservant dumbass that didn't think Hyodo did anything to the winning ticket when he fingered the box for a good minute after they put the ticket in. Seriously, it's so fucking obvious but Kaiji was too focused on his massive power-trip erection to pay any attention to it. He loses his fingers and cries about it. Season 2 Kaiji gets date raped and put into an underground bunker for slave labour. He gambles away his earnings in a gay dice game like the loser he is and cries about it. This arc was actually good so we'll just skip it and move on to the bog. Kaiji earns freedom for 21 days I think and gets approached by another old fart name Kotaro that got divorced. He thinks beating a pachinko machine will get his wife and daughter back and solve his erectile dysfunction. They go to the casino and meet the ultimate gay lord Seiya Ichijou. After Kotaro's stupid magnet strategy doesn't work, he pisses himself and faints. Afterwards, Kaiji plans an overly excessive Ocean's 11 heist to cheat and defeat the bog. He bands together with Endou and Kotaro, mostly because they have a shit ton of money. He stages a fake heist where it looks like he's trying to steal the money in Seiya's vault. He gets caught and Seiya takes a moment to take all the dildos out of his vagina so he can stick a needle under Kaiji's fingernails. Kaiji then spends 10 episodes playing a fucking pachinko machine. In the end, his plans fail anyway because he sucks so much dick and he only wins because Kotaro stole a bunch of money. They have an orgy at a hotel to celebrate and then Endou steals all of Kaiji's money so he'll stop being a stupid fucking idiot that gives all of his money away. He does it anyway to save his friends, and then gambles the rest of it away. He gets a handout from a guy because of some moral lesson or some shit and goes on to have gay sex with his friends. In Frightside Fairytales In this arc, Kaiji obtains a Guardian Character and is one of several characters looking for the Embryo parts in the Feel Good Run. His most notable role is special summoning Humpty Dumpty during his duel with Dwight from The Office, which brought him victory, however set a powerful Egg Fucker loose on Frightside. Stand While a Stand is never directly mentioned in the series, Kaiji is such a fucking loser that it's the only explanation why he doesn't die in the first episode. His Stand probably makes him win at gambling games after he cries a lot or something. Category:Gods Category:G-Fuel Alliance Members Category:Gay Characters Category:Chronic Gambler Category:Depressed Characters Category:Alcoholic Category:Guardian Character Users Category:Egg Protectors Category:Future Members